I was in my car today stopped at a stop light where my attention was drawn to the closing of a road that crosses the railroad tracks in town, so when the light turned green I didn’t move out instantly. The vehicle behind me gave an annoying beep of its horn a few times, even after I had started going and my delay was not THAT long. Caught up by the annoyance of being beeped at in excess of the situation I felt my own anger rising and was tempted to drive really, really slow or maybe even sort of tap my brakes a few times – you know, the get back thing but it was a passing thought – not an action. I realized that to do anything negative (getting back) was taking on that person’s annoyance or anger and buying into it which was really pretty stupid. If s/he wanted to feel that way, that was his/her problem but I didn’t have to buy into it or accept it. I felt a sort of weight lift, and continued my drive home lighter and free of the dark stuff.
I wonder if this process – of not “buying” into negativity that another was expressing can stay with me and be in effect for all kinds of things that upset me – anger me - scare me – to go through the rest of my life just not buying this dark stuff.